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my new found discretion

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new times [17 Jul 2005|03:16pm]
[ mood | ehhh ]

new lj

nicolemaria
nicolemaria
nicolemaria
nicolemaria
nicolemaria
nicolemaria
nicolemaria
nicolemaria

add it.
i added most of you already.

dear sug (sug!..more like fag), [17 Jul 2005|12:53am]
[ mood | shitty.. but grateful ]

this girl is absolutely phenominal
and has affected my life so much in the past few monthes
you would be lucky to meet her
and honored to get so close to her
to be considered her friend
i love her dearly
and cannot begin to express my gratitude to her:

you make my shitty nights not so shitty
by just being there
im really happy i have you in my life
thank you for letting me spend your birthday with you
and one more time for kicks
happy bday emn
you deserve the world
and so much more =]

i think i lost my most precious possession =[ [16 Jul 2005|04:07pm]
[ mood | headache.. ]

I'm so confused, with nothing to be confused about except for life in general.

i dont need the shittiness. [13 Jul 2005|08:06pm]
[ mood | hot hot hot ]

lately i have just been dealing with the cards i have been dealt
runner up; no biggie.
disappointed; no biggie.
shitty nights; no biggie.

but in the words of a really good friend:
fuck the cards
they suck
.

im so ready
to live the life
i wanna lead.

fuck the bullshit.
im ready to be happy;content;amazing.

=]

hmm... whatever.

why are we so distracted by the things that hold us down? [10 Jul 2005|06:28pm]
[ mood | good ]

since i dont have a computer
updats are lacking
oh wellll =]
my sisters are here.. its funn
i missed them

so i pictured jacked erin
these are the photos from our girls weekend
in sb last week
so enjoy the craziness of them
i love these girls.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

<just slide into my room.. =]>Collapse )


i owe a thank you to a lot of people.
you know who you are..

i have to go
because my uncle is making me play poker
more later i guess =]

its been a while [27 Jun 2005|12:53pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

yeah so i still dont have pictures
but i jacked these from erin
from this weekend


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

<on the left you have the beach, on the right you have death. and this is the road>Collapse )


speaking of this weekend.
huge slap in the face i guess you could say.
relizations.
like crazy.
small breakdowns.. good for you?
atleast i was cured.
thats the good part.
it can only go up from here, right?
i hope so.
this week.. work 8-3 til thurs
friday.. warped tour?
erin wratty is coming home.
sat night-tues morning.. sb
=]
let me know if you want to come.
it will be good to get away.

k.. im going back to work.
jsut thought i would share those lovely photos with you all.
i get spunky back on thurs!
call me if you want to hang out =]

ps/ im a silly girl.. its fun =]
xxy/ were just looking for the answers.

late night wonders.. [24 Jun 2005|10:32am]
[ mood | busy at work ]

As much as I'm over it,
I can't help but wonder
what happened to that guy?

-edit-
yeah we all flirt with the tinniest notion
of self conclusion in one simplified motion
you see the trick is that you're never supposed act on it
no matter how unbearable this misery gets

where do we go? [22 Jun 2005|10:45am]
[ mood | work work work ]

black eye update;

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

wow that made me feel like shit. [20 Jun 2005|06:09pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

update;

summer is defnitely not living up to
what i wanted/hoped/expected it to be.
=[

ehhh [18 Jun 2005|12:06pm]
[ mood | sick ]

im without a computer right now.
so updates are lagging
and so are pictures.
im sorry.

the move was stressful.
but im looking foward to 6728.

ERIN WRATTY
happy birthday.

i love you so incredibly much.
thank you for everything over the past 5 years.
you truly are my best friend.
and my savior.
i hate that we will be apart this summer.
but we know where the love is.
i hope you had an amazing bday.
and one more time for kicks..
happy birthday!

im realizing things about people lately.
good
and
bad.

the good.. well its good.
ive got people who care.
and i can count on.
that matters a lot to me.

and then theres the bad.
youd think after everything we have been through
you would back me up.. no matter what.
but obviously some things are just way more important.
and current situations and friends
matter more to you then every thing
we were and have become.
im disappointed.
but i also understand.
ive done the same.
and im so sorry for that.
everyday of my life i wish that things
were not the way they are.
but i have also come to terms with it.
you were once so incredibly important to me.
and you still are.
but it breaks my heart to finally
except that im not that person to you anymore.
our past means everything to me
considering our present now.
i know you are reading this
i know you know this about you
because we both obviously point out things
in anonymous lj entries =]
and we still know each other so well♥.
but you are very important to me
and i hope you know that im willing
to fix what is left of us.
it bums me out that we have changed so much
over the lase few years (especially this last one)
that we arent what we use to be.
but i owe you so much for everything you have
done for me.
ill always be here for you.
i hope you know that.. ♥.

work is stressful.
my face hurts.
i have a small fracture in my cheek bone.
who the hell fractures their cheek bone?!?!

whatever.
its all cool.
and so incredibly worth it.

i need to get back to work.
busy day.

poor spunky jewpop =/
good thing shes tough.

ps/ richard castillo.
thank you.
im glad we are stronger then
what people expect.
im glad i have you in my life
i owe you.. a lot =].

thank you for saving me yesterday sug♥.

i just dont understand =[ [13 Jun 2005|04:23pm]
[ mood | lame ]

ive been having these really
shitty dreams lately
i dont like them.

anyways.
lame mood lately.
i dunno what it is.
im glad the weekend is over though.
im still unpacking for summer
so i dont have the stuff
hooked up for my camera
so no pictures =[ sorry

but yeah
last night i was reading some old conversations.
i miss friends.
even the ones i see everyday
and im just not that close anymore too
it bums me out a lot.
i wish you knew this was about you.
and you and you and you.

i also wish about other things.
but ive come to terms.

i hope this summer is as good
as i hope for it to be.
new experiences.
new things.
even some new people.

i overanalyze things.
way to much.

i want to be someones good secret.

i have all these paper cuts from work
and they sting.
speaking of.. i need to get back to work.

hang out with me im home.

ps/
hmm, what'd you say, mmm, that you only meant well?
well, 'course you did
hmm, what'd you say, mmm, that it's all for the best
of course it is
hmm, what'd you say, mmm, that it's just what we need
you decided this.


i live in memories.
i think its pathetic. =[

at richies.. being busy busy busy [10 Jun 2005|01:45am]
[ mood | ughh ]

i planned an interesting entry
telling you about my last year at school
and how it meant to me.

but ugh.
that was so lame.

oh well finals are done.
oficially its june 10th.
but yeah.. i cant wait til tonight.
cannot wait.
the house looks amazing.
i hope everyone comes
its so worth it.

heres a lil something


<i painted pictures on your walls>Collapse )


eeewww why did i let that just get to me.
i did my best
while you did your worst.


-edit-
tomorrow will be amazing.
please bring me a cute boy to dance with.

ps/
in case you didnt know.

i miss you suga. i need some pineapple, cigs and your sweet love. [07 Jun 2005|01:47pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

life is silly.
weird.
annoying.
change.
why is shit all of a sudden getting to me?

lameness.

heres some best interest photos.
they trip me out too much.
i dont like them.
you can be the judge.. lemme know.. for real.
(especially all you photographers out there
im having some artistic frustration)


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

<lets pretend... happy ending>Collapse )


inspiration and hope
are powerful things.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

if i didnt have this oppurtunity every year.
i dont know where i would be.

shit is weird right now.
maybe its just the stress
of finals and june tenth.
who knows.
erin wratty is sleeping in my bed right now.
she saves me.
im excited for 6728 though.
now im just rambling..
im going back to studying.

3days.

ps/ its weird how some stories end so quickly, huh?

savaging pineapple bubble gum cigerettes [31 May 2005|02:13pm]
[ mood | bummed but okay ]

long long long weekend.
lots of awesomeness.
lots of relizations [good and bad =/]
lots of long talks
about everything and nothing.
lots of these kids
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
and more of course.
it was fun.
i wish some things werent the way they were
but its life
and its how it works i guess.
back to school
last week
then hoby this weekend
and finals next weekend
and my summer starts with this
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
i really hope everyone is there
and everyone is going to come
lots of hardwork going into it.
i just want it to be an amazing night =]

summer is so close.
i hope its as amazing as i anticipate it to be.

thank you for a good weekend♥.

joke is on you? [30 May 2005|03:03pm]
[ mood | =] ]

sometimes there are green lights.
and sometimes there are red ones.

actions
speak
louder
than
words.

hey check this out [25 May 2005|06:38pm]
[ mood | stoked ]

yeah....
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
=]

the words slowdance off my tongue [23 May 2005|05:36pm]
[ mood | hmm ]

i caught a glimpse, but its been forgotten so here we are again i made a vow, to carry you home i really tried to do what you wanted it all went wrong again i figured it out, i can see again

driving a lot..
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
helps you think.
if i had an anti-drug.
that would be it.

i put myself in situations
where i know im vulnerable
i say to myself im making the wrong decisions.
however i continue.
im young.
i make mistakes.
im not proud of them..
but hey.. it all happens for a reason i guess.

the pattern is continuing.
and at this rate and speed.
im not sure where that puts me at?
i wish i didnt think in this state of mind.
and then maybe something way rad will
catch me off guard and knock me off this road.
hmm..

i need it to be summer.
this was awesome btw..
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
my day and night and morning
was spent with awesome people
thanks.

and june tenth anyone?
yesterday just got me a hundred times more excited.

and when the stars fall i will lie awake [21 May 2005|05:34pm]
[ mood | ehh.. ]

went on a hike yesterday
to a really amazing place
called inspiration point
i love stuff like this.

i think the pictures say enough..


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

<times like these when the worrying just stops.. and you remember what the point is>Collapse )


and that was that.
beautiful.
=]

anyone wanna hang out tonight?
i have nothing to do.

ps/ have fun at prom alex, shiva, nance, meghan, duhlina and everyone else who is going♥!

it teaches us how much more we can take.. [19 May 2005|02:51pm]
[ mood | headache ]

santa monica picture update.
from last night.
fun fun fun.
got to see some familar faces.
felt good.
heart to heart did awesome for their first show.
im glad i could be there for them.
miss alex.

i need to say thank you to a lot of people..
for things lately.
you know who are
and why you deserve a thank you.
okay..

now to pictures.

i love santa monica.


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

<drawn by imaginary lines connecting radiant points of light>Collapse )

Image hosted by Photobucket.com


ps/ i adore erin&sara♥.
pps/ i cant wait til summer.
but bummed its -best interest.. =/

-edit- thank you richie for the good looking out.
in more ways then one. =]

just one last reminder.. TONIGHT [18 May 2005|01:23pm]
[ mood | procrastinating ]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

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